Kotzenburg Ch.3

Polly Cloud Doesn’t Save the Day or:

Money, Power & the Stupid Subject of Real Estate

By Chris Wunderlich

               Polly Cloud came from an upper-class family, studied civics in the big city, and drew the attention of all with her good looks and warm nature. Roger Burns was quite the opposite, coming from a family of little means, his appearance assuring he would never stand out in a crowd. He earned every accolade (and dollar) by way of his brilliance, particularly in the field of science. How the two came to meet— and why they’d be attracted to each other— is anybody’s guess, but by the tender age of 20 they’d already tied the knot. Polly secured a menial position in the big city’s municipal offices while Roger was asked to spearhead research at their most prestigious university. They were a power couple, sure to someday invent a policy, procedure or product that could change the world—that is, until Mr. Skinner hired Roger to direct the research and development team at the Hesse Facility in Kotzenburg. He was fascinated by microwaves. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

                When Polly and Roger moved to Kotzenburg, Hesse provided them with a large house, car, and salary. Roger immediately dove into his work, inventing the standardized “ding” sound we all hear when microwaves finish their business. His work on calibrating the “popcorn” button secured his place in microwave technology history. Polly, meanwhile, was determined to rise in the ranks of her new town’s political structure. She was shrewd, uncovering the cause of Kotzenburg’s civil strife almost immediately, and quickly became part of the city council. She then ran for mayor, much to the Hesse Company’s dismay. But Roger and Polly were a pair—while one decried the fascist tactics of Hesse and Mr. Skinner, the other found new ways to spring-load the microwave door. Hesse couldn’t fight Polly without risking the loss of Roger.

                Soon, Polly Cloud was elected mayor of Kotzenburg, and her push to end the real estate dictatorship of Hesse began right away. She knew the factory was integral to the town’s success, but Mr. Skinner’s reign of terror had to end. With downtown buildings sitting vacant, plucky entrepreneurs tried their hands at every venture—from restaurants and laundromats to cafés and banks. But none were able to effectively capitalize on Kotzenburg’s working class population, hungry for arts and culture, and anything that could distract from the drudgery of factory life. When a business became profitable, Mr. Skinner would arrive in his horse-drawn buggy, with arms outstretched and his apologetic, dramatic speech prepared. The building would then sit vacant once more, awaiting the next opportunist to crush. And all the while, it was the “Hesse landlords overseas” that were to blame. What could be done?

                Polly first fought to secure housing. She tackled Kotzenburg’s oldest downtown buildings and registered them as historically important, ensuring they could only be developed in limited ways. But Hesse would not release their grip. Instead, the apartments above the vacant storefronts themselves became unoccupied as lead pipes burst and asbestos filled the air. Polly tried to buy these apartments with her own personal wealth, but Hesse refused to sell. As legitimate tenants were forced out, squatters became the permanent residents of the downtown core. Despite heartfelt intentions and a host of cunning tactics, Polly’s leadership drove the city further into poverty and decay.

                Roger cared for his wife deeply, but his solutions to non-scientific problems often proved clumsy. Seeing both Polly and the town itself struggle under Hesse control, Roger tried to negotiate with his employers. They laughed at his attempt. He tried to work less, care less—even sabotage development from the inside, but his steadfast nature betrayed him. He simply could not turn his back on scientific advancement, even for monsters he grew to resent. His final, feeble solution came in the form of an old university roommate—one Bob Hogg. Bob was a large, intimidating fellow, and a loyal friend. Roger asked him to follow Mr. Skinner the moment he was spotted. Bob would stand, well dressed, with arms crossed and a mean expression upon his face, hoping to scare the harbinger away from his duties. This crude plan didn’t work out, however, as Mr. Skinner remained fearless, always addressing Bob with a planned speech to confused and disarm him. The altercations never resorted to violence, thankfully, lest Polly’s good name be soiled. But Mr. Skinner always won, getting past the hulking Bob without ever escalating the situation.

                The people of Kotzenburg, meanwhile, were furious with Polly’s developments. They regretted making her their mayor. Drained of every resource she had, she finally turned to her younger brother for help, but feared he’d only exacerbate the situation. Jimmy Cloud was ready for the call, however, and eager to assist! He’d recently turned his small inherited riches into an even bigger fortune, buying and selling incomprehensible things on the internet in a trend that seemed to never end. (Until it did.) When Jimmy Cloud presented his idea to Polly, he was a tycoon ready for risk. When the plan was ready for deployment, he was flat broke.

                Jimmy’s idea was to look beyond Kotzenburg to the fields north of the town. Though the town wasn’t exactly growing, Jimmy figured he could use his wealth to spark development. If affordable housing sprang up north of the town, the factory workers could move out of their Hesse controlled homes. Jimmy would hire local builders, use local resources, and stimulate the economy through sheer spending power. There would be a new town, built upon the former destitute farmland, and all would be welcome. Hesse would see the migration and either yield control of their lands or be forced to pay property taxes without tenants. Polly knew the idea was audacious—crazy, even. But she was desperate, and her heart sank for the people of Kotzenburg. They needed a beacon of hope, and she was ready to blaze the trail, quite literally, to provide them with one.

                When Jimmy lost his money, it seemed that hope had vanished. Polly tried to secure investors from the big city, but her good family name meant little compared to the ever-growing slum conditions of Kotzenburg. Jimmy proposed a radical idea—but it was one that only the most desperate would have entertained. He knew of a certain billionaire who, while perhaps unlikable, could be convinced to invest in Kotzenburg. Jimmy couldn’t develop the new suburban landscapes he’d dreamed of, but Vadim Domokos might.

                Vadim was a Hungarian investor known for his extravagant lifestyle. He’d befriended Jimmy while trying to recruit him in a Ponzi scheme, but the two hit it off on a personal level as well. Vadim invited Jimmy to his castle. They spent time on his yacht—two filthy rich peas in a pod—until Jimmy lost all his money. Vadim’s digital currency investments survived where Jimmy’s had failed. In his typical backhanded manner, Vadim told Jimmy he’d still be welcome to visit, if only he could afford the plane ticket.

                When Jimmy proposed the idea to Vadim, he was unimpressed. A small Canadian factory town was of little use to Hungary’s third richest man. But the mention of the Hesse Company caught his interest. Vadim had once invested a great deal into a subsidiary of the German company, only for them to sell off the branch and plunge its value. He wanted revenge. It was a perfectly insidious, coincidental proposal for Vadim. And he jumped at the chance. A new Kotzenburg would be built with Hungarian dollars, just north of the established town, and they would call the area Domokos. Hesse would be dealt a blow with Vadim’s name plastered all over it. Polly was hesitant, cautious—even a little scared— but when she thought of the hard-working factory families she was responsible for being called on by the grim Mr. Skinner, she relented.

                Vadim Domokos started construction right away. Polly tried to set boundaries, standards, and regulations to make the new Domokos neighborhood just as she’d imagined it, but the billionaire could not be reined in. He built townhouses tall and tight, blocking sunlight from the streets (until the hour was exactly high noon). Backyards became a thing of the past. Nature was obliterated. Upon a man-made hill, at the far end of the new development, Vadim built himself a castle, rivaling the garishness of his Hungarian home. He installed himself as emperor, not by any official means, but with financial power alone. He invited the wealthy upper class from far and wide to join him. Jimmy had been duped; Polly scorned. Vadim took control of Domokos and spat on Hesse from his hilltop palace.

                Kotzenburg had become a land of warring overseas powerhouses. Mayor Polly, her foolish brother Jimmy, and their ineffective enforcer Bob proved powerless and pathetic. Roger, on the other hand, designed a microwave clock that didn’t have to be reset after power outages. He was on a roll.